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i have an inability to step back and look at the big picture, to tie everything into some kind of master fabric - each day is a different day, and i feel how i feel right now, and it's possibly the only thing i've ever felt - ever. that and the thick distortion of memory, everything ideal and distant, like watching a non-me myself in a strange film of how things used to be. it's too easy to lose people, as they wash out into characters on nostalgia tv - some coping mechanism that grew up with me, as i was always leaving.

it runs deep, until i figure out how i'll distract myself for the time at hand.

take the fruit from the tree, break the skin with your teeth, is it bitter or sweet? all depends on your timing.. like a meeting of chance, with a train station glance, many lifetimes have passed, in an instant reminded..